Stolen from hoopyfroodcat, who stole it from someone else.
Five Things That Will Permanently Change Who You Are As A Person (In no particular order)
05. High Fidelity
04. Your first live concert
03. The first time you make out with someone and feel your knees go all weak
02. Holding a guitar, plugging it into a very large ampifier with the gain cranked, strapping it around your body so it rests across your balls and strumming an Em chord.
01. The first time someone rips your heart out of your ass and stomps all over it.

Wow...feels like I am in a cynical mood. I don't know...maybe a bit. No more than ususal I guess.

I am experimenting with a new way to practice. Play for 50 minutes, mainly focusing on one or two things, playing warm-ups in between, then taking a 10 to 15 minute break, and then doing it for another 45 to 50 minutes, focusing on something else. I will see how it goes. I think it will help break up the boring stuff and keep my chops fresh. My left arm is what gave out today...its really getting to me that my body is not functioning right. I am frankly quite scared. Ever since I started taking my thyroid supplement, I haven't been able to play guitar. I am about to quit taking the supplement..but that would be bad.

Well...back to practice...

...and stolen from the great [info]dancinpenguins

iTunes Survey

how many total songs?
4281

Sort by song title
first: '59 - Brian Setzer
last: Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Sort by time
shortest: The Girl in the Corner - Lyle Lovett
longest: Symphony No. 3: I. Lento - Henryk Gorecki

Sort by album
first: ...And Justice For All - Metallica
last: Zoot Suit Riot - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

Top 5 played songs?
01(T). Dead Eyes See No Future - Arch Enemy
01(T). Pull Harder on the Strings of Your Martyr - Trivium
01(T). Not Enough - 3 Doors Down
04(T). Dying In Your Arms - Trivium
04(T). Rain - Trivium
Kinda fun....I am tired. I only made it another half hour....both arms were just not working and since I had a fucked up day I decided to call it a night. I am going to get some cantelope and then go to bed with 'The Historian'.


Hollywood here....reporting from the lovely air conditioned office of Cingular wireless...oohh...fax machine going off...I hope it is one of the approvals that I need for some insurance claims...gah...junk faxes. Well, like I was saying, I'm sitting here, keeping cool in this hot world...which is a feat in itself with how sexy I look (yeah right). Yes, me in my black slacks, grey dress shirt and blakc tie (I got the fashion advice from Cherish...she said that it would bring out my eyes, which apparently are one of my 'better' features).

Drew actually is supposed to be bringing a digital camera to work so we can take pictures and be crazy in our two weeks of no manager-ness. Well, I am now the manager...hehe...scary. I figure that he has to get a picture of me all Hollywood'd out, seeing that it has become one of my staples. He even tried to copy me a few days ago and I tottally called him on it. It was funny. I told him that there is only enough room in this store for one Hollywood and that he was already here.

King Tut was dissapointing. They really didn't have much of his stuff there...just a bunch of stuff that was from the time period. I was happy I went, but it was pretty lame.

I got a new rock shirt. I got the 'Run to the Hills' Iron Maiden shirt at Hot Topic, and a pin that says 'You complete(ly annoy) me'

I love my mood. I got woken up by the sonic boom of the shuttle comming in and didnt get much sleep after that. So I finally crawled out of bed around 8, got in the shower, and then fired up my computer for some reason or another, and got scared out of my towel by a message from Cherish saying 'BOO'. I was all 'It's too early for that.' We talkd for a bit, her giving me the fashion advice for what shirt to wear to accent my eyes.

Im incredibly horny right now...I am sure that all of you wanted to hear that. It's becuase there was a cute girl in here earlier that smelt really good. She's a bit too skinny for my tastes...looked like she would break easy...but it has been my experience that those girls are the toughest ones. Maybe I should have asked her out. Of course I don't have the time to practice my guitar enough, much less have the time to put what I would need to into a girlfriend. It sounds horrible, but it would be ideal to have a girl that was on call. One that was around when I needed her. Of course, I have been in the 'on call' status in a relationship and it isn't cool, so I would never put someone in that position. When I date, I go all in and I would most likely stop playing guitar so I could hang with the girl and that would just be shooting me in the foot for where I want to be in life. I want to go to school and get a degree and I plan to be practicing at least 2 hours a day, if not three a day, by the end of this year. I don't know if I have the space to hold down a full time job, part time school and playing an instrument and a girl. I would love to have a girl to hang with. I really miss the comfort companionship...and the making out, but I just know it wouldn't be good for me.

But of course, if anyone is interested, don't hesitate to call me up or say something...its better to be honest and up front than hide it and ruin something. Maybe your schedule and mine will sync up and we can hang out a lot. Who knows. Maybe that letter I wrote is for you.

I don't know what I am going to eat for food. I am thinking a bean and cheese burrito from Baja Fresh and a big Mountain Dew. I need to read more of 'The Historian', but I also really need to practice...I really want to practice. I want to get better. Byproduct of listening to Maiden and Arch Enemy.

My hair is crazy...I need a hair cut. I am going to keep it kind of long...or as long as it is, I just need to trim it up becuase it looks a bit raggy.

Its a bummer...there is this cool chick at one of the other Cingular stores that is in Thousand Oaks but she and I can't have a relationship because of some stupid interoffice dating policy. I don't know...he store is something like 30 miles away...will anyone know...besides Drew becuase he is telling me to call her up right now. I did...but she wasnt there...but I had to talk to her manager anyways. He's comming in to help me at work tommorow because I have a lovely 12 hr shift tommorow.

Drew has been taking a lot of pictures...but they all make me look stoned. When i go on my break he is going to get a picture of Hollywood me...me rocking the sunglasses and the unbuttoned shirt and iPod.

I am outta here for some burrito action.

Today rocked. I dont know why. I felt free, despite me being at work. And, as days at work go, it was a pretty shitty one. I even had a customer throw a pen and call me a 'fucking asshole'.

It was a typical Sunday, but the first day of my 2 week stint as manager of the store due to my manager being on vacation. Things went well. Drew and I both did a fair bit of bussiness, for a Sunday at least. The chick who called me a fucking asshole was just one of those inept people who couldn't get her head around a simple concept and got mad...happens frequently...normally without the pen throwing though. Drew's girl, Katherine, is mega cool. She brought he and I Red Bull's just because. I think he has quite a cool girl there and I told him so. He seems quite happy with her.

When I got home I hung out in the plaza with some of the metal heads and had a good talk aboout music. It was very awesome. It si becuase of that talk that I am listening to Dimmu Borgir...we were discussing first impressions of bands that we love and I mentioned how when I first heard 'Progenies of the Apocolypse' that I almost shit myself because it was so good. Drew and I had been blasting Lostprophets, one of the bands I like (there are a lot that some of you guys don't know about/wouldn't believe...they are one of them), while we were closing.

I watched Coach Carter when I got home. It was one of those feel good movies. I didn't like the rap part of the soundtrack...but then the only movies that have ever had a soundtrack with a lot rap in them that I have liked is either 'Pump Up The Volume' or 'Save The Last Dance'. After I was done with the movie, I went into my room and proceeded to practice for a good hour or so. I worked through my scales and arpeggios at a breakneck...er....breakhand speed that I thought was going to be the end of my right hand. I actually hit the point where it was tiring out and kept going and all of the sudden it just stopped acting wierd and I just played...for another 45 min. Until I started doing the palm muting exericses from the Metal Rhythm Guitar book. Then it seized up in about 2 min. I have decided that I will play 3 to 5 times a night, until it seizes up, every night. Hopefully the time will lengthen each day. I am sure that me typing is not doing anything good for it. Ha...

I love the little goth guy I use for emotions...he looks kind of Cure-ish. Plus, the fact that his ecstatis just shows him smiling every once and a while is fucking great.

'The Historian' is an amazing book. You must go check it out.

I really want a pair of motorcycle boots right now. I can't afford them...well...I can...but i am choosing to save up for music recording gear. But I am going to go out and get another rock shirt this week. I am not sure which band though. I will get whatever takes my fancy when I get to the store. I am thinking something like AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix, or Iron Maiden, but not the Trooper shirt...I want the Aces High one. It all depends on what they have and what appeals to me and what I am listening to.

I am going to see the King Tut exhibit tommorow. I am quite happy. Egyptology is one of my many interests, and getting to see that stuff is really cool to me.

I am now listening to 'Nymphetamine' by Cradle of Filth. I love this song. It just feels right to me.

Well...time to seize up my right forearm again. Until later....

Today was an awesome day...well...these days have been going for the past month. I did some good bussines at work. I know...lame and loser-ish that I am letting my quasi-corporate job dictate the awesomeness of my day, but it is this job that gets me the money I need to get me to where I want to be in my life, which is happy and full of music.

I talked to Brooke for something like 45 min on the phone. I hadn't actually spoken to her, or IM'd her for the matter, in months, and it was great to talk to her. We talked about relationships, music, life...all that crazy stuff that she and I talk about. She recomended a cd for me to get, which was recomended to her by the ever-so heavy music inclined Krychek. The cd is Arch Enemy's latest 'Doomsday Machine'...so i had to be cool and go out and get it. Fucking amazing...as all Arch Enemy is. Solid metal. Heavy, fast, very musical. I like it a lot. She also convinced me to get a livejournal so I can read all of her 'Friends Only' posts. I feel special now that I can do that and lame becuase I have 4 blogs now; Xanga (my original and now defunct), Blogdrive, MySpace, and LiveJournal. Kinda weird. I will attempt to keep all but the Xanga up to date...although I have been faltering on the Blogdrive. Quite the chore ahead of me.

I read a bit of 'The Historian'. It is a good book. I was actually having nightmares from the book a few nights ago, which I guess could be seen as bad, but it is nothing I can't handle. I still am only able to read a few pages at a time most nights due to the exhaustion when I get into bed. But tonight feels a bit different.

I watched an episode of ALIAS Season 2, then I came into my room and played guitar for a solid 45 minutes, minus breaks to stretch out my left hand. It felt good. I don't want to over exert myself right now, so I am talking it easy I know that 45 min a day is better than 2 hrs every few days, so I am going to opt for the smaller time per day and more days per week approach.

I had a lot of fun filling out the 'About Me' section of the LiveJournal: Check out my eloquent response:

About me...a mini biography. You know what would be cool...if I didn't have to put anything in this area because everyone in the United States had read my best selling autobiography or seen my episode of 'VH1: Behind the Music'...alas...that is not so. Actually...I am not sure about if that would be cool. I think that would be a bit crazy. I am a musician/music critic...at least in the sense of what I feel like I am. Professionally I am a cellular phone salesman who is moving quickly up the ranks of the company with the option to become manager of the new store on the November horizon. But that is not 'who' I am. I am a musician. I play a variety of instruments, at a variety of skill levels, starting at 'can barely hold my own' (drums and penny whistle) to 'am decent but could always be better' (guitar) and everywhere between (bass and keyboards). I call myself a music critic becuase I am always listening to it and trying to find something new and interesting to fill the noisy silence of my Southern California world. I am studying to be a History teacher in school, or will be as soon as the semester starts. I have always been interested in History and realize the need for a fall back plan since the music industry is such a volatile bussiness. I of course woul love to be a rock-star, or something similar to one, but I will settle for a job in the music industry. Composing music has always interested me and I could see myself doing a lot of different jobs from recording bands to composing for movies and tv or being a guitar teacher. I have no idea where I am going with my life except that I am going backwards because reverse is not an option...unless you park nose in a parking space. I also enjoy photography, but I am not in the place to be a professional. I just enjoy the artistic aspect of it and the ability to capture a time in history in a different view than what some people may have seen. I am an avid reader, usually reading science fiction an fantasy, but lately I have been branching out to mystery and cop novels and I have a passion for darker literature and vampire stories, such as Anne Rice's 'Vampire Chronicle's' and the book 'The Historian', and of course, Edgar Allen Poe.

I think that sums me up rather well.

I actually got one of the coolest compliments from Brent, one of the friends that I went to the beack with, of all people. He and I were having a guy talk...or as much of one as he and I can have when wandering the beach. (Example: That chicks hot...shes hot...but her face, gah...dude look...MILF...). We were wandering and I kept seeing all of the guys dressed in Volcom and Hurley clothing, or whatever it is that most Southern California guys wear (I dont remember all of the brands...kinda skater gear...but not...i dont know what it is). I was walking around in a pair of black boardshorts Brent was wearing red ones with a Hurley hat on and I said 'You know...I don't own a single Volcom or Hurley shirt or anything like that actually. I don't wear Abercrombie either...or Famous Stars and Stripes. Is there something that I am missing?' He just looks at me and says 'Its becuase you're rocker, Steve.' That was such a cool thing to hear, and I never expected to hear it from him. I told him that if I bulked up anymore that I would need to get all new shirts becuase all my favorite band shirts were pretty tight as it was. He said that I look like a rocker now and that its cool for me to look skinny. I thought about it for a bit and realized that most rockers aren't really buff. Defined and muscular, yes, but not ripped, you know. I felt instantly better about how I look. It was quite interesting, and good at the same time.

Well...it is about time for me to go to bed. The book calls to me, after I finish this article on Randy Rhoads I was in the middle of reading, and then another one on Eddie Van Halen.

See ya.

I really want to go home and write music right now. Unfortunatley, I have 2 hours left. And that is driving me insane.

I had a blast at lunch with Elle. In defiance of me buying her food for her, she went out and got a funnel cake for us. So nice. It was a good desert after my nachos. I filled out that last part of my last blog with her here looking over my shoulder. It was hillarious. We talked about a lot of stuff. She asked where and how I met people like LP and Faith and how it all got started with Lauren. It was a cool experience to talk about life with her. She and I are really two peas in a pod...tottaly good friends. On Thursday we are going to go bowling...and I am so prepared to get my ass handed to me by her. She works at an alley...so, by default, she's probably a lot better than me. Although...my Dad worked for Brunswick...but that doesn't mean anything...I went bowling once at a Brunswick Lanes when he worked there. I went to a different one all the time with my buddies in MI, but I was never that good. It was just the closest cheap entertainment in MI.

I want to write some lush electronic/rock piece right now. I don't know why. I havent really heard anything like that today...except for the bit of music by Dead Can Dance that I heard. I am thinking of a Phil Collins thing...and I really am not listening to him right now...I just put it down becuase that is the music I am feeling right now. I want something ambient...something that swells up and becomes something else. I like how that song goes from being a song about mourning to a song about anger and that has all that emotion in the drum part. I have to songs that I need to finish though. The first is where Icharus gets mad at Karyn for not telling him why she is acting weird. The second is just one that I was working on. I think I will go with the same key for thr first one and just see what happens. Start playing around with some chords and pedal tones and see where it goes.

I really need to get my hands and forearms massaged. I know it is going to hurt like hell. I am talking me tearing up...the wrist is one of the worst places to get massaged when it comes to pain becuase you use it so much and it almost never gets worked on so it ends up need a lot of work to grind out all the crunched up crap. My Mum offered to do it...I just don't know if I am ready for it....It hurts a lot and I don't like that. Although, if it doesn't let me write, it may be better to get my wrists worked on.

I want to get back into playing classical right now as well. I am stuck though becuase I want to buy another guitar and I want the Carvin acoustic/electric, but I can't play classically on that any more than I can on a normal electric, which sucks. I was looking at a Godin classical/electric that can also hook up to a synth which interested me. I'll have to play classically again and see what happens. If I really start getting into it again I may go with that. But, on the subject of money, I want to get some recording gear as well. I am stuck between getting something small that is enough to record just what I need right now, which is, at the most, maybe two things at once, or spending more and getting enough to record a whole band, or almost a whole band. The cost difference is amazingly not much, something like a few hundred dollars. It sucks to spend 300 to get one thing then need the 600 dollar one in a year or so. But I am not going to be recording anything that big live for a while. All I am looking to be recording live right now is guitar, bass, vocals, and some percussion. Maybe drums, which would require more channels. The drums in Reason aren't that bad really. Maybe I should just lay down a groove and just really work at mixing then right. Most of the stuff that I have been writting I haven't mixed beyond getting the levels right so I can hear it all. I hardly even pan anything becuase it is all demo stuff right now until I get Cubase and run everything into there and record all of the guitar and bass tracks live. I think I should really just devote tonight to writting. I haven't really had a night where I could to that to well. Last night would have been ideal, but I was in bed by 11. I was exhausted when I got back from my walk. I wa exhausted all day actually. I feel alive tonight.

I really want to get back into yoga. I could use the peace and the relaxation for it...as well as the stretching and work out of it. I need to find some music that is good to stretch too as well. I am not sure if I really have anything. I have the room in my...room...to do it now that I have rearranged everything. I'll just have to clean up the clothes on the floor. If anything I want to at least limber up my lower body. I used to be pretty flexible (if you call doing the splits flexible), but that was when I was in my prime of doing tae kwon do and working out a lot. I think if I worked out a few days a week, aside from my walking, doing stuff like stretching and pushups and crunches, I would feel a lot better. I will see where I get with when I get on my suppliments for my thyroid. I think I will have a lot more energy. Maybe I will get my 18 year old body back. Ha...wishful thinking. I think I will be forever relgated to being scrawny. I look like Scott Weiland...well...I used to when I had thyroid problems...I looked really bad then. But even what I call 'chubby' for me is thin to most. I am not trying to be premadonna about it. I just remember when I looked good...really good. Now I look funky if I am not holding it in. I guess it is something weird to say that I want to be skinnier when I like girls who have a bit more padding. Go figure.

I enjoy being calm these days. Yes, there is a bit of emotional chaos in my life, but I am in a relatively calm place. As long as I am not getting mad at skanky chicks that are fucking with my psyche...that makes me scream. I am working on keeping my back straight. I noticed that I slump a lot. I think some of it is from when I play guitar and keep one shoulder rolled under, but a lot of it is just not being disiplined to keep it straight. Feels weird walking with a straight back. Like I am trying to be taller than I am or more than I am. Like someone who hangs out in Hollywood but lives in the suburbs and doesnt want anyone to know.

I saw plenty of those people when I was in Hollywood for that show. I can't believe I live near someplace like that. At least in Vegas it felt like everyone knew that they were being fake where as on Sunset Blvd, they were actually thinking that they were as sophisticated as they were trying to act. Quite scary. There they are in their suits or at least their $150 deisgner jeans and their $100 shirts and $200 designer shoes and suit coat, smiling falsely over whatever this weeks stylish martini was, spouting lines like 'I know exactly what you mean. I was once at this club' or 'Once I was hanging out with this person'. I was walking around in a fifty dollar pair of Gap jeans (I think I actually got them on sale for 30 at the outlet mall), a 20 dollar tshirt that looks cool and feels silky, and a pair of black Converse with black and red laces in them. I felt more real than they looked. It was bizare. I don't see how looking like that could make you anymore of a person. To me, it took them down a peg. I guess you have to be of that demographic to impress others...its a sick cycle. I guess when tourists wander the strip they see all the colors and glitz and the fancy people with their oh-so-nice Mercedes Benz. I see a lot of electricity, dirty streets and a base model Benz that is really a Ford in disguise that looks like it costs 80 thousand as opposed to the 30 grand that it did and I am just not impressed. Yes, there were some hot cars that were around...like the Lotus Elise and the Mercedes that  I knew was imported from Europe...but it was the 69 Stingray convertable that caught my eye. Wish I could have seen the person who drove that. And the women...don't even get me started. I only saw two the whole night that I was attracted to. The first was one of the bartenders at the House of Blues who would occasionally come out from behind the bar to watch a band and nod her head to the music, then go right back at it, and the second was the drummer in the band we went to see. She was curvy, had curly hair, knew how to play, and had a blast doing it. That was real man....it was cool to see girls like her. Michael and I had fun walking down the strip to our car, watching all the people trying to be more than they were. He was in his typical work out shirt and shorts (hes ripped) and I was in my garb, and we just kept walking, shaking our heads every once and a while. He was lamenting on when he used to come down 2 or 3 nights a week in the 80's and how it was all plastic and teased up hair. He said the plastic thing hasn't changed. I laughed really hard. I'm sorry, Give me a comfortable pair of Gap or American Eagle bellbottoms, a tshirt that fits, some cool looking shoes and a good beer and I would feel a lot better than in all that designer shit...and of course I realize I say this looking through Christian Dior glasses and with a pair of Armani dress shoes in my house...but I wore those things down a lot...to the point where there is hole in the bottom of both. Sorry...I need something that can hold up to my rough lifestyle...I guess only a good pair of boots will work some days. Shame...what ever happened to when it was all about looking good in simple clothing. Times are strange...I should have been born 30 or 40 years ago. Too bad.

Wow...yet another insanely long post of nothing. Well...I am sure that there is at least a few pearls of wisdom in these ramblings...but I am not sure where it is. Maybe some day someone will compile my memoirs when I am famous (or dead) and derive some crazy message from it that will change the outlook of the nation, or at least a part of it.

And all I was talking about was the music.

Isn't interptation weird.

Current mood: blah

Well...I'll start with some lyrics to define the mood I am. This is the song 'Serenity' from Godsmack's album Faceless.

As I sit here and slowly close my eyes
I take another deep breath
And feel the wind pass through my body
I'm the one in your soul
Reflecting inner light
Protect the ones who hold you
Cradling your inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Tragic visions slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time
I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control

I need serenity
I need serenity

I feel like posting in red...I don't know why.

I am here at work all day. My shift is scheduled as 9:30 AM to 9 PM. Luckily we don't have clock cards or anything of the like. I got here on time...so thats not a problem. But I can normally get out of here by sometime around 8:15 or 8:30 if there arent any last minute customers. I also get to take my break whenever I want. I think it will be somewhere around 2 or 3. I'm bad...normally if there is no one around I'll take an hour and fifteen minute break. It has been dead as a graveyard here today. Not that I am complaining...I just wish I had someone to talk to.

Yesterday was a very blah mood. No motivation. I didn't want to get up. I kind of floated through the day. I saw the Island. For some reason, it isn't playing at all in Simi, so my Mum and I drove over the hill to the Valley and saw it there. It was cold as hell in that theater...well...cold as a cold place...I figure cold as Hell is pretty warm. The movie was good...good action. Nothing to polish an Oscar for...unless you are giving it to Steve Buscemi, but it was solid. Great story. Watching Scarlet Johnssen and Ewan McGreggor's character'd find out about snogging (making out for you culturalt inept...or someone who just hasn't hung around me enough to hear me say it) is one of the funniest parts...or when Steve Buscemi hands them his credit card and Scarlet takes it and he quickly grabs it back and goes 'Rule number 1; Never, ever, give a credit card to a woman.' I was laughing so hard.

I made my first sale of the day...yeah...a whole 3 dollars of commission...who's rolling in the George Washington's now.

When I got home I took a nap and then ate some food. Once the sun went down, my Mum and I washed her car. I miss my car a lot. She is done...well...I called up the guy and said I had 350 bucks and told him to do the most important stuff first, and he did it way faster than I thought. Now I have to figure out how to get down there. I don't think I can until Friday....very sad. I like the Jeep..but she isn't a Mazda Miata...much less my Veronica. Ill have her back soon and she and I will tear up a few canyon roads. Anyone down for a cruise down PCH? I have the urge to drop the top (actually, the top is already down....duh), kick up the tunes, drop it into fourth and fly down PCH at 80 like I did the day Amanda and I followed an ambulance up the road. It was awesome. That and going down Kanan canyon at 90 is fun too. But I need a bit more tread on the rear rubber to do that. Ill stay with 70...still fun that way. Shit....last time I drove that road was when I was on the date with Brandy. That was a while ago.

Yeah...dating girl who are 5 years younger than me...smart Steve...very smart. Actually...it is never the age that gets me...its the mentality. Elle is 16, but she is really smart and intelligent. Completely different from Brandy. thats just how it goes.

I think that there is more of a problem dating girls from work than dating girls younger than you. It was just awkward...very...even when it was good. I couldn't keep my hands off her...and we were at work. Right now I miss the comfort of it. The ability to curl up with someone....and make out with them. What...leave me alone...I like kissing...is it such a crime? Well...we wont get into that.

Next subject.

I will play guitar at some point today. I must! I miss it and I need to.

Ha..I just saw Chris Beasley drive by. That man is the pimp of Regal. (I had to hand off the hat and floor length mink coat to someone when I left). He told the manager of the theater, who was waiting for Chris to pull out of his parking spot, 'I'm not moving tramp'...and then realized it was the manager. So classic and cool. I wish I had said that.

I want to go bowling with Elle...but I have to work right now. And I really couldn't afford it until I get paid. The 350 bucks for my car is going on my credit card. Not something that I want to do, but I don't have enough saved up for the bill. I did...but I didn't know that I was going to need the money for my car. I am going to save up the rest of the money for the rest of the repairs done at once. I think it is something like 400 bucks or so.

ElleBell just dropped by and talked with me for a half hour...or more...or so. It was so great. When I go on my break, she is going to come hang out with me. So cool. She absolutley cracks me up. I told her that I was paying for her food and she thinks she can fight me. Ha...never going to happen. I have a gift card, I am feeling generous, and she is a cool girl and a good friend. I love talking with her. I can be myself and not have to worry about being stupid or dumb or anything other than myself because it is who I am and we both know that the other is a freak. She and I are in the same boat in a lot of ways. Both single children, cynics to the bone (yet somewhere I think that she is a hopeless romantic like me...comes from watching all of those damn Hollywood movies). But she and I see all these kids who are spoiled and we just don't get it. Both she and I bought our own cars (both Mazda's interestingly, but hers is a sedan...mine a convertable), pay our own insurance, repair bills, and gas. And she is 16...I didn't start being that kind of self sufficient until I was 18. And damnit I rode a bike to work for 3 months to get my car. Ha...uphill both ways. This isnt a rant about people being spoiled...its just me telling about the same things that she and I have in common. She is one of the greatest friends I have...right up there with Will. She works at the bowling alley. I want to go bowling with her. She told me that there is a bar, so I can go and get as plowed as I want and she will watch and laugh. It takes a special breed of friend to sit there and laugh at you when you are drunk off your ass in public...and she is that rare breed of friend. It is also rare to find a 16 of the disposition in life that there is no point to love and who has the famous tagline 'Time heals all wounds' and, when asked what the hell she was saying, described it as 'No matter how long you have been healing, there is always something that will come along and rip you open right around the corner'....and she does this all while being one of the happiest people I know in the world, always having a smile on her face.

I think I am going to wait until something like 2:30 or 3:00 before I go on my break...that way I don't have too much downtime between my break and when I leave. Being the manager has it's advantages...of course I am only manager for today. Part of me hopes that we do hire this new guy who put in his application and resume in. We need the help, but it being just Mike and I makes it better on the sales. Meh...I'll see what turns over.

I need to look up a band called Dead Can Dance. Sully Erna mentioned them and said they are a major influence on him. I want to see what they are about. I am still looking for some new music. I have no idea what to go for next. I put my iPod on shuffle for my walk last night and ended up just cycling for most of the walk, not finding anything good.

Ha...speak of the Devil...looks like we are hiring this guy. Cool...at least gives me a couple of days off a week regularly. I need to go back to school in the fall as well. I need to get that kind of discipline back under my belt.

Geez...a huge truck of Miller Light just went by. What a waste of what people call beer. As my Mum says 'Most American beer is like having sex in a boat....fucking close to water.' I have no idea where Bohemia is made, most likely somewhere in the States, but it isn't light. The only way I will drink a light beer is if it is Bass Ale and then that is mixed with Guiness for a Black n Tan. I am an amazing beer snob for not liking much beer. I know a couple beers that I like and I know that I don't like Bud, Miller, Coors, or anything that says 'Light' or 'Lite' in it. That says a lot. I can go into a bar and find something that I like...and thats just beer wise. I can always go for a screwdriver...but I don't know what I am going to be like next time I am around vodka...its bad stuff.

Okay...checked out a few Dead Can Dance songs on Amazon. I think that I am going to get a cd or two just to get a better feel. A lot of times I just need to sit down and chill when listening to music so I can digest it. I miss doing that a lot.

I have the urge to get a motorcycle. I cant choose between a crotch rocket or a Honda...damn. Well..I cant afford one and it is a curse for anyone in my family to get one. Maybe I should just stick to my little four wheeled canyon demon. I miss her so much.

I don't like it when I get hung up on. Grrrr at you Mr. Inept-with-the-phone.

I am thinking that I getting food at 2:30...I don't think I can make it till 3:00...hungry Steve....who, like a dumbass, didn't bring any food with him. Gah...I can't think straight in the morning..its hard when I can hardly see.

I really want to see Stealth. BT, or Brian Tranceau for those who know him for his score for 'Monster', one of the forerunners of trance music in the early 90's, did the score and I am very interested to see what he did. Plus, the movie looks like it is a cool action movie. I like flying movies. And I think that Jammie Fox is a really good actor...I think he could do something very good with this role. I like any movie or story with military camraderie. I don't know. Don't expect me to be joining up any time soon. Not my deal. I'm a lover...not a fighter. Plus...I like my hair the way it is...long and unkept. And I just got my ears pierced...I don't want to have to take them out. And the glasses they have to wear...no where near as stylish as my Christian Dior ones....and whoa did that go from 'Steve is a rockstar' to 'Steve is a queen'. next subject...preferably something with some balls to it.

I am at a loss. I have no idea what to post about.

Okay...time to close up shop on this blog. I'll get back to ou guys when there is something to report.

\m/

Okay...found something to lengthen this already long post to the limits of the most progressive blogger (holy shit am I a freak...and any of you who know what I meant...up high...you fucking rock). Here is something I...liberated...from Brooke.

Steve's 13

Thirteen random things you like(no particular order):
01) Playing air guitar/piano/drums
02) Egyptology
03) 80's synth pop
04) Cracking every joint I can in my body
05) Taking deep relaxing breaths
06) Mint chocolate chip ice cream
07) Kissing
08) Giving massages
09) Hugs...damn the raver in me
10) Getting messages from friends
11) Driving fast on coastal highways
12) Stretching/yoga
13) Reading

Twelve movies:
01) Groove
02) Army of Darkness
03) Desperado
04) Hellboy
05) The Professional
06) Fifth Element
07) Star Wars
08) Hitch
09) Confidence
10) Rock Star
11) Timerider
12) Serenity

Eleven good bands/artists:
01) Godsmack
02) Nightwish
03) Dream Theater
04) Metallica
05) Genesis
06) Sonata Arctica
07) Black Sabbath
08) Black Label Socitey
09) Trivium
10) Coheed and Cambria
11) The Who

Ten things about you ... physically:
01) Unkept hair
02) Green Eyes
03) Lanky/skinny (almost Scott Weiland-like)
04) Crooked nose
05) Large hands/slender fingers
06) Pale...but tans somewhat
07) Long legs (damn...id be hot as a chick)
08) Smiles subtly
09) Can wear size 8 girl jeans and not look too bad in them
10) If I ever let a beard grow, it is more red than my hair

Nine good friends:
01) Will
02) Elle
03) Brooke
04) Nick
05) Faith
06) My Mum
07) Marjory
08) LP
09) sLen


Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01) Pizza
02) Turkey and Roast Beef Sandwichs
03) Nachos w/ chicken and pinto beans w/ EXTRA sour cream
04) Mountain Dew
05) Good beer (Bohemia, New Castle, Downtown Brown, Guiness, Mickines, Shima'e)
06) Lemon and Orange juice
07) Watercrackers and cheese
08) Bread

Seven things you wear daily:
01) Black wrist band that says 'Music = Life'
02) Christian Dior glasses or Carrerra sunglasses
03) Celtic silver ring on index finger
04) Pewter celtic ring on ring finger
05) Silver celtic pendant on silver necklace
06) Something to cover my nether regions
07) A genuine smile

Six things that annoy you:
01) Ignorant customers
02) Bad drivers
03) Popups
04) Unmatching color clothing
05) Ugly shoes
06) Ugly/uncomfortable clothing

Five things you touch everyday:
01) My hair
02) My keyboard...duh
03) My car keys...i miss my car
04) Uhm....my work things...cellphones?
05) The girl I dont have

Four shows you watch:
01) I dont watch TV
02)
03)
04)

Three celebrities you have a crush on:
01) Scarlet Johnssen
02) Salema Hayek (Elle had to remind me about this one)
03) Angelina Joile

Two people on MySpace that you have kissed:
01) Lauren
02) Is Cherish on MySpace? Wait...I dont want to know...dont you tell me BROOKE...or Amanda...wait...I kissed her sister...and she is on my friends list....AHHHHH...I didnt want to know that.

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
01) My hetero-lifemate Will

Okay....I forgot to cross post...bad...but I am all alone at work so here they are.

Heres a post from Friday, the 22nd.

Walking off a lot of pain and aggression...and walking right into more

Current mood: predatory

I did another 10 mile walk yesterday. I really pounded it out too. I walked hard. I was pretty well soaked with sweat by the time I got home. I was walking because I had some shit going on in my head that I really didn't like and I knew that I had to work it off. I'll give you the very short version...or tell you something that I did that will explain it all. I stormed into my house screaming at the top of my lungs 'I FUCKING HATE SKANKY BITCHES!!!' last night. And I do...oh...I do. I walked really well, listening to Genesis, Mike and the Mechanics and Phil Collins on the first half, We Will Rock You and then random other songs on the way back. I get home, jump on the computer to talk to Elle, and log right into a conversation I just didn't want to be in. Nerve....nerve....she has nerve. Elle and I were just talking about it and then the nerve of that girl (not Elle)...GAH. I can't even repeat it. I was so angry. I was actually in the place that I was so angry I wanted to beat something up, so sad I wanted to cry and too tired to do either. Probably a saving grace actually. Elle sent me a really sweet message to get my spirits up. I love how she is Miss Cynicism and Miss Loving at the same time. If she were 21, we agreed we would go bar hopping and have some fun...byt c'est le vie...21 she is not.

I can't wait for the new Coheed and Cambria cd to come out. I am listening to they're last cd right now in the Jeep becuase I didn't feel like grabbing my iPod this morning. I will defenetly grab the iPod before I drive to Hollywood for my doctors appointment. Geez...how SoCal is that, I go to Sunset Blvd to the doctor.

I wore my knee brace for my walk yesterday and my knee is hurting more than it normally does. I actually think that I over exerted myself last night. I walked really hard on the second half.

A few months ago I started a book of favorite lyrics of my friends. I want to keep it going. If there are any lyrics that you love from a song, post them here or as a message with the band and song. It is very interesting to read them. Ill eventually put a whole post together with who posted. Well...I may get rid of a few...some people who wrote some stuff I don't talk to anymore and they put some weird shit that is counteracted by their dumbaassness.

I feel vindictive and mean right now. I know I wont be acting on the impulses I am feeling because that would make me just as bad as her...well...maybe not as bad...but I don't respect people who do what I want to do right now. I'll let the shit blow up and then sit back and laugh. I don't need to light the fuse...she lit it a long time ago.

Okay....no more cryptic messages full of allegory and metaphor...I will only post what I know and not hold names back to protect the innocent...innocent...my ass.

I love how LP said I am a good boy and a purist. Boy...you really don't know me...but he did know the answer. Damn...21..I am pretty sad. Although I don't need to be reminded...excuse me if I don't want to have sex with dirty ho-bags. I have had my chance to get some...and I simply chose not to...In my book, that means Im not one...although I will be honest and say that I am a virgin....damn.

Im out...boss man will be here in a bit.

And here is one from July 23rd.

I don't know why this song calls to me right now. I was listening to Genesis and the like this morning...but come lunch, this song just called to me. It actually has some amazing imagery and lines that just feel right to me. 'I felt so symbolic yesterday.' Kinda weird and saddening...like 'Grey Street' from Dave Matthews Band.

I did all of my paperwork today. It didn't take too long. Last night was such hell on the paperwork side...and I was too hungry to deal with it.

I got the estimate for my car today. 775 bucks. She needs a major tune up. I think I am going to get it done a piece at a time. I have about 300 bucks right now that I can put towards it, and maybe another hundred and fifty if my Mum lets me off on rent this month, which she said she might. She and I are going to talk about it when I get home.

32 minutes until I lock the door...45 till I am out of here...unless there are a lot of customers like last night.

I get to have a lovely doctors appointment tommorow. Actually, the appointment should be good...its the drive home at rush hour that is going to suck. I just have to be back by 9PM for the party.

I was told that Faith came by work today...I was right in the plaza and didnt see her. Quite weird. I need to hang out with her again. She's a blast. I need to hang out with all of my friends. I should have a huge party or something...somewhere like Mira's house where there is a pool where we can all kick back, listen to some good music and just chill. Grab a whole lot of soda, burgers, hot dogs, good tunes and good people and rock out. Im way too busy to do that right now right now.

I am very anxious to play dodge ball on Saturday. I am going to walk at least 4 miles tonight...most likely the whole 10. I am not sure. It has been pretty hot lately at night so I won't be worried about getting cold in the middle of the night. I must wear my kneebrace this time. I will be wearing it for dodgeball...if not two.

I have the urge to paint my nails black right now. I don't know why. I don't even own black nail polish. I own red and silver and purple...but not black. Very weird. I could only wear it for a night...I can't wear it at work or anything.

I think that my three years in Michigan has caused me to not be as uptight about life as some of the people here in California. Quite interesting observation. Actually, observation has become one of my favorite pastimes. I like watching people to see things that happen and see how they act. It is amazing to see how American's are different from the English. Mike, my manager here at work, is an Englishman, and although his accent is gone, he is still English to the bone. I am a bit of a crossbreed of a few cultures. I have the English gentleman, some laid back rural Michigan and the glitz of Hollywood. It really depends how I feel and who I am with. When I am with the people in MI, I seem a bit wild compared to them, but I am more tame with them than I am with my friends here in CA because we are all crazy. When I am around my more adult friends, I am a lot more mature because we have conversations some cool stuff. I am not saying that my normal friends make me more immature...I am me really...its just that certain parts of me come out around certain ones. Around my more....youthful...friends...I act a bit younger. It's just how it is. If my friends are competitive...I get competitive.

I want to have another Scene It game night. If i do...ElleBell...you HAVE to come. You would love it. We have an interesting mix of people. Normally it is just my Mum and I and a couple that we know that are in their mid 30's that are good friends (my Mum married them this St Paddy's Day). Sometimes they bring a friend, Ali, and he's cool. With Elle's knowledge, it could be very cool. W

Well...closing time...and I can't even get a beer....damn...I need to work in a bar. Ha...right... 'Mr. No More Drinking Now That I Am 21'...at a bar.

See ya.

This was taken from Brooke, who in turn, took it from a friend. Some of you know me better than others, especially when it comes to my taste in movies. Some of these are dead easy...some not so. But here it is:

1. Pick 25 movies that you enjoy
2. Pick a line of dialogue that you like from each.
3. As people guess the film, strike the entry
4. NO CHEATING

And here are my lines:

1. 'So I'm dead...and I think its becuase of this redhead.'
2. 'First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me...Blow.'
3. 'Whatever man, just keep you dick away from me'
4. 'I aim to misbehave'
5. 'The boatman waits for us...I say we make him wait a little longer'
6. 'Trick question...Lemmy is God'
7. 'Hey...Master Computer'
8. 'You want me to shoot the cook?'
9. 'I have a got to go...I've got a government job to abuse...and a lonely wife to fuck.'
10. 'Senor, this is beautiful. Where did you get this map?' 'Got it at an Exxon station.'
11. 'If you try to run...I have 6 little friends, and they can all run a hell of a lot faster than you.'
12. 'Would you get going you pirate?'
13. 'I said I would stop killing if she stopped hooking...'
14. 'Some men are longer than others' 'Ah, your mother been telling stories about me, eh?'
15. 'The sniper accomplished this by being a sneaky bastard, sir!'
16. 'Boo' (there are two movies that could go for this that I have mentioned frequently, but not just any horror movie will do...think about it)
17. 'There's something I have to ask. After a thousand years, how's that dick working out for you, good?'
18. 'You do have a note right? You're not going to be one of these kids who offs himself and we don't know why. Thats why you have to leave a note man'
19. 'Is it true that chicks fart when you blast them in the ass?'
20. 'There is no way a normal woman could take that. Only Wonder Woman could take that kind of pounding from Superman.'
21. 'Fuck Lando Calrissian'
22. 'God, I hate this lipstick...this stuff never comes off your dick.'
23. 'I don't like fast women.'
24. 'I had some bad Chineese'
25. 'Do you have soul?' 'That all depends.' *phone rings* 'Back corner, next to the blues'

There ya go. Resopnd here as a comment and I will mark off the ones that people get right.

I swear, if Evan weren't here, I would probably just fall asleep right now. I don't know why I am tired. It's like someone just flipped a switch and boom...now I am fighting to keep my eyes open.

My car is in the shop...*is very sad* She was making some bizarre noises and I figured it would be better to be on the safe side. I changed shifts with Evan so I am now working until 8:30 or so tonight, depending on how much paperwork I have to do. I don't think that there will be much. I could do it all right now...but that would be uncool and I need something to do after Evan leaves in an hour. I am now driving the Jeep Cherokee. Its not a bad ride...just high up. Very high up compared to Veronica (yes...I named my car...as well as all of my guitars).

I wrote a lot of stuff for Eternal Lament last night. I had to...the net was down. Still down this morning when I left for work. Sucks. I hope my Mum was able to get it up and running. I don't like uploading songs onto iTunes without the net becuase iTunes connects to a database for track names and such and I had to input all the info myself last night for the six cd's I put in last night. But I wrote a lot of stuff for the second act that explains a lot of background story about Icharus. I am still waiting on Brooke to email me her review of Act I. I want to find someone where I can host the document. I don't exactly want to post it somewhere becuase it is kind of long. Not really bad...but still. I have enough long posts by myself without me adding 3 pages to one with my script. If anyone knows a good way to host it, send me a message (mySpace) or an email at winder13@sbcglobal.net. I'll be forever in your debt...well...at least for a couple of minutes or so.

I was listening to Genesis a lot last night. I also watched 'Staying Alive'. The movie cracked me up. I thought I had a problem with girls...but Tony Ramero just had problems saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I will admit though... I do like 80's synth pop and I thought that the final show was pretty cool. It is amazing to see Travolta in the shape that he was in for that movie. If you have seen 'Saturday Night Fever' and thought that he was good in that, check him out in 'Staying Alive'. Sylvester Stallone directed and wrote the movie, and made Travolta work out until there was no fat on his body. He was CUT! Had to be for some of the crazy shit he was pulling. Yeah, the movie was cheesey, but I thought it was cool. The end is by far the best...he goes strutting like he did in the beginning of 'Saturday Night Fever'.

That damn movie also reminded me how much I miss wearing boots. I used to wear boots almost year round in MI.(no...not when I was wearing shorts). I quite miss them. I am stuck between a pair of black cowboy boots (nothing fancy or reptile skinned) or a pair of black Harley boots, which is what I used to wear. I have no idea what I will get.

I haven't talked to Elle in a while. I know she is going to Wicked tonight...I wish her the best of fun there. Girl...we need to hang out and see a movie or do something crazy.

I am in the mood for hellraising. Doing something weird/wacky/tottally me. On Saturday I am going to an industrial park to play dodgeball with a bunch of high school alumni for around here, which will be invariably cool on the scale of something crazy because we are going to be trespassing. (okay...I know...not that rebel...but still cool). I really want to go to Borders and move all of the Bibles to the fiction section in stacks of five and see how long it takes for them to kick me out. That or move the Star Wars into the religion section. Something bizare like that.

I am going to Brent and Marjory's for a barbeque tonight. I don't know what is going to be going on there at 9 o'clock at night, but I am heading over after work.

My whole idea to ask out the next cute girl I see hasn't gone too good. I haven't seen any girls I find attractive. There are a lot of tell-tales that people carry on themselves, and any girl I see that is remotley cute has a bunch of them that turn me off; smoking, stuck up, ditzy...any of the above...if not all. It is somewhat disconcerting.

My mind is still doing a few back flips right now over some stuff...but I realize that there is nothing there between me and this girl and what happened between us was nothing big. It was just a kiss...well...a couple of them. I never actually thought I would ever say that. Who would have thought that Steve, Mr. Attachment, can sit back and tell someone 'What...it was just a kiss'. I like it...a bit more of my new found freedom.

I really wish it weren't so hot here. Its probably 100 degrees. Not cool. Just the drive to the BBQ is going to make me all gross...like the walk on my lunch break didn't.

Mmmm...party tendering on Friday, followed by a movie and Denny's, dodgeball on Saturday, poker and concert on Sunday. And with different people each night. I love it. LOVE IT!!!

Crap...I have to do laundry so I have enough work clothes to finish the week...I need clothes for tommorow, Friday and Saturday. One load should do it. I really havent been wearing much of my normal clothing. Today I did because I didn't want to drive to the car shop in rush hour traffic in my work clothes. And I havent walked in a few days, so no work out clothes. I actually need to think of what to wear to dodgeball. I think some shorts and my white sleeveless Boba Fett shirt and my running shoes are going to be alright. The nights have been so hot lately (I think it was 85 in my room last night at midnight) that I know I am going to heat up quickly. Ill defenetly be wearing my knee brace. I will need all the help I can get. I may wrap my other knee as well. I don't know. Looks like the best time to get my knee surgery is going to be around October or November. I am a bit worried. I think they are going to have to do a lot of work and I don't like the idea of being laid up in house where everything but the front door, the laundry room and the garage are up a flight of stairs. I don't think I will be going anyewhere for a few days after they open me up.

I feel awake now. It was weird. I used to get like that every once and a while. It is quite weird. I don't mind...I'm awake now.

Two hours and thirteen minutes until I lock the door!

I want to go to London (again), Paris, Rome and Greece. I want to go with a friend. I need a friend who I could put up with for that long. Well...I have one. Will. He and I could be together for weeks on end and never have any probs. I don't know about anyone else. Not a knock to you guys...I just don't know any of you guys lik I know him. He's one crazy motherfucker. After being an alcoholic for a couple years, he snaps out of it and when I tell him that I am at a bar having a drink, he tells me that if I become dependant on the bottle, he will kick my ass. I love it. He is one of the most carring guys when it comes to his friends. I really want to get him out here for a week or two so we can go be hellraisers on my turf out here. It was great when I was out there last summer. He and I had so much fun. It was nice not having to get for anything except for myself and hanging with my best buddy. He and I could get up at noon, play some music until 4 or 5, go out and do shit until dawn and go back to sleep. Thats the kind of thing I miss. I remember when the whole 'crew' would be out until the very wee hours of the morning doing just stuff...driving, bowling, lighting off fireworks, walking around, seeing movies, having computer gamming parties. What ever happened to the innocence of those days. None of us drank, we didn't smoke (though both of those changed when I was there last summer, but that is to be expected with post 18 year olds in MI...but I think they all quit smoking...well, the two who did, and they don't drink much) we weren't having sex with a lot of girls (or any, depending on which friend you are talking about), we weren't beating up too many people. We were just being kids in a small town. I miss it a lot. I also remember jamming with Will and some of the other guys for the sake of mplaying music. We were never in it for money or girls. Hell...there was no money to be had out there for playing, except maybe 10 bucks or something for showing up, and we didn't worry about the girls because we had girlfriends. God...where is a time machine. I missed out on a lot of stuff my being in that high school mentality. Give me the head I have on my shoulders now back then and I would be a lot better...but I really think that is to be said for anyone.

I actually realize that the main thing that I would have done is not had a steady girlfirend for 3 years. Don't get me wrong...it was great at times...for most of it, but the last year really wasn't that great because we were growing apart. I was having problems being held down and I wanted to break free from everything that was holding me; school, parents, girlfriend, law, gravity. She was thinking of the future as most people in a small town do...getting married and starting a family and I was still thinking about being a rock star. I have at least grown up enough now to see that I need a fall back plan becuase the music industry is so unsecure.

There are actually some clouds in the sky right now. Maybe they will make for a cool sunset. I may have to grab my camera before I head over to the BBQ.

Jim Morrison is a vocal god. Actually, to me, he was one of the most perfect creations of whatever controls this universe. The right amount of good looks, mysticisim, amazing voice and creative content. I have two portriats on my wall next to my door, both people who mean a lot to me in what they were and accomplished. One is a pen and ink drawing of Jim Morrison, just his face, giving that look that can slay, and a blue monocrome painting of Jimi Hendrix. I love both of the pictures becuase they remind me that it is okay to be me and that being af freak with music is okay beucase they were. The Doors didn't have a bass player. And Jimi's playing...it speaks for itself. He did stuff that people still can't do. He had the most amazing control over feedback that I have ever heard.

I had a revelation a few nights ago...actually...I had a lot of revelations...but some aren't important at this juncture. But one I had was that, as even abstract musicals go, Eternal Lament is out there. The first number doesn't have a single vocal in it. It is a crazy juxtaposition of rock, metal, goth, electronica, and movie scored classical. At times it is like Andrew Lloyd Weber on downers and at times it can be Elfman on crack. Hell...it is a story about a musician vampire and all the shit he gets into and how life is. How he deals with feeding, drugs, hiding his true identity, love and all the past loves he has had. Its dark. The woman who loves him is slicing his damn wrist open to feed from him while using drugs to convince him that she isn't. I don't think that anyone will really go for it as musicals go.

You know what the great part of it is...I don't give a shit if they do. This is just an aspect of me. I won't be heartbroken if it never hits the stage. If it is just a cd and a script, that is fine. After I finish this project, I plan on starting a band and doing something different. Not drastically different...it will most likely be heavy...but it won't be just me. It will be a collaboration. Hell...by then I may have gotten good enough at the keyboards or bass to play them in a band. I really don't know. I think I will always be a guitar player. And I will always want to be a singer. It's just how I am. I do plan on shopping Eternal Lament around. Powers is a sound engineer for theater shows and he would be a good contact becuase he has worked at a couple of the main small theaters around here and he could help. I would love for Eternal Lament to play at the Cultural Arts Center in town. It is the perfect venue for it. Small...intimate...perfect for a rock show/play (I have seen both there). I don't know if I would play Icharus. I think I would rather be the guy who plays guitar in the band. That is really where my heart lies. I am not a stage actor. Yes, the character is mine, but not so much that I would mandate that I play him. Actually, I would like to just go up on stage and introduce the play and say thank you to everyone who comes in.

But that is if it goes to the stage.

Would anyone of you guys show?

Ha...thats asking a lot when I am still writting Act II and haven'g finished the music for Act I.

Im out...bye

Now, I am somewhat known for an eclectic taste in music. Lately, in the crowd of friends that I roll with (actually...I roll alone...and I don't really 'roll'...more like walk long distances), Ia m the guy who always has an iPod strapped on and ear buds over his shoulder and everything you could ever want for music. But, today you will all become privy to the information of some of the...unexpected...music that Mr. Rockstar here listens too. Lyrically, this song is one of my favorites, especially when it comes to telling a story. A lot of this came about due to me finally finishing th transfer of all the cd's I have to my computer. Also, recently I have felt that there hasn't been any music to really blow me away. I have gone back and listened to a lot of classic stuff, or classic in my mind. Last night before I set out on my 10 mile walk I decided to raid my Mum's cd collection for music that I didn't have. I grabbed about 25 cds and started ripping some of them. I came upon the cd, 'Road to Ensenada' by Lyle Lovett. I have seen him in concert about 5 times, and I like his music a lot. It is just good. His command over lyrics is one that I love. You will see what I mean when I post the lyrics to the second song on this cd. I like this song, 'Her First Mistake' because it is a story about life that really shows, at least to me, that there are two certainties in life; 1. Always be yourself because when you aren't, it shoots you in the foot, and 2. It isn't over when you think it is over and she may just come back.